Donna
wait. Look again. There’s — there’s something inside me,’ he
began, struggling to find the words he wanted to use. Struggling to
find any words at all. ‘It’s difficult to explain…’
Try
a language she understands. Text her.
‘Oh,
God,’ Donna told him, turning to face him again. ‘Really? Just…
you are kidding me?! You said you just wanted...’
‘That
isn’t what’s inside of me!’
Oh,
Doctor. If she only knew. If she only knew what was inside of you.
Let‘s show her. Let‘s show her the Destroyer of….
‘World
class aren’t you? Just like every other bloke I…’
‘Listen.
Just listen…’
…worlds!
I still hear them. Do you hear them? Do you dream about them? Do you…
‘Donna!’
…Doctor?
‘I...’
Doctor,
don‘t tell her.
‘I
need...’
Doctor,
don’t tell her… don’t tell her… don’t tell her…
'I
need...'
Me.
You only need me. You’ve only ever needed me. You don’t need her.
You don’t need any of them. You survived because of me! I got you
out alive. I kept you running. I keep you running. I...
'I
need to get something that’s inside of me out of me!' he cried, the
words tumbling out of his mouth.
'What?
Oh, is this like before, when you needed a good shock?' she asked,
sidling away from him, balling up one fist. 'Well, I’m about to
give you more than a shock, buddy.'
… as
her life depends on it, Doctor. Don’t…
'Get
out!' The Doctor pressed his hands against either side of his head.
'What
do you mean, “get out”? We‘ve not even landed have we?'
Oh,
but I have, Doctor. I’ve landed. I’ve landed. Take me to your
leader. Oh, wait. I AM your leader!
He
squeezed closed his eyes, willing the voice inside his head to go
away. 'Get out! Get out...'
Again
with the hands. Again with closing the eyes. Those big brown
puppy-dog eyes. Wait. Martian eyes, wasn’t it? If only she knew
what real Martians looked like! Oh, Doctor, are your eyes still
closed? Do you really think you can shut me out so easily? Do you
think I don’t know what you’re doing? Do you think I won’t be
here when you wake up?
'Doctor?
Doctor? Oi, now, come on, you. Wake up. This isn’t funny. Doctor?'
Go
on. Wake up Doctor. Wake up. Your nightmares are still all here. And
so am I.
The
Doctor opened his eyes. Donna was above him, upside down, her long
hair framing her face, his head cradled on her knees. He blinked in
surprise.
'D-Donna…?'
Well,
what do you know. Donna’s still here. She didn’t listen to you.
Imagine that. Did you really think she would leave? We landed over
two hours ago but here she is. Two hours I’ve been listening to
her. Two bloody hours! Just Donna… and me. Guess what I told her.
'Wake
up, Sunshine,' she said, giving the Doctor’s cheek one final slap.
'When I said you needed a break I didn’t mean a kip on the floor.'
He
sat up and looked around. Judging by the crick in his back he’d
slid down the stairs. And hit his head on every one.
Hurt
you more than it hurt me. Self-induced Time Lord coma? Care to try
again? Should have used the Zero Room. Oh, wait! You don’t have one, do you? Shame. Let‘s be a bit more creative next
time.
Donna
helped him up and guided him to one of the battered jump seats. The
Doctor looked at her, registering the concern written across her
knitted brow.
Why
do they stay? Have you ever asked yourself that question? Why do they
stay when all around them people are dying and they are probably next
in line?
'Donna,
you can’t stay here. You need to go — you just need to go...'
Before
it’s too late...
'Before
it’s too late. Donna, go. Just… go.'
'And
leave you like this?'
'I’ll
be fine,' the Doctor told her, forcing a smile. 'I‘m always fine.'
Keep
believing that, Time Lord.
'You
were unconscious on the floor! You are not fine.'
And
neither will she be if she stays. I can think of a thousand ways a
Companion can die. Can you?
'Do
you even know where we are?' Donna asked him.
Do
you ever know
where you are? You didn’t know where I was. Where I have been.
Where I’ve always been. Waiting for you to remember me. Waiting for
you to open the door and see…
He
pushed himself up to examine the coordinates. Earth. England.
Chiswick. It was even the right century. He smiled to himself.
'Earth!'
You
think you’re so brilliant...
'I know I
am,' he muttered, then spun around and grinned at Donna. 'Home again,
home again, jiggedy-jog! Go on, then. Have a peek.'
What
if you’re wrong. What if you’re seeing what you want to see? What
if you’re seeing what I want you to see?
'Yeah?'
she asked slowly, then hurried down the ramp to the door. She glanced
back once before swinging it open to poke out her head. The scent of
lavender wafted into the Tardis.
What
is that smell?!
'See,
what did I tell you. Home. Springtime by the smell. Or we’ve landed
near a florist shop. Or in a bathtub. Go on. You said a holiday. See
your Granddad. Go on, then.'
Goodbye,
Donna Noble. Tell her goodbye. It’s never too early to tell them
goodbye.
'It’s
still early. Come around later then, for Tea?'
I
hate tea…
'Aw,
Donna...' he protested.
'It
won’t kill you to come around,' she told him dryly.
But
it might kill her… or...
'Mum’s…
warming up to you.'
No
she isn’t
'No
she isn’t.'
'No,
I guess she isn’t — but granddad has. Have a proper kip, then
come ‘round. Promise?'
Oh,
pretty please, Doctor? Pretty please? Be part of a family again. Go
on. You know you want to. You haven’t had a family in so very long.
And another child, lost. Poor little anomaly, left behind like all
the...
'Rest
up if you can.'
…rest.
I wonder what Susan is doing now. Or did. You’ve never gone back.
'I’ll
try,' the Doctor said, forcing the words between his teeth.
You
lie. After all, I ought to know.
Donna
gave him an appraising stare.
She
knows. She knows. You lie.
'Well,
see that you do,' Donna told him.
Dull
as a dish rag, that one. Don’t you remember the day you first met?
Oh, your memory is so selective, though, isn’t it? You’ve even
tried to forget me.
'You’re
rather hard to ignore,' the Doctor said softly, waving at Donna when
she turned back for just a moment.
Go
on. Call her back. You don‘t want to be alone. You never want to be
alone. Not that you ever were. Not that you ever will be.
'This
is between you and me.' He forced himself to wave again.
Isn’t
it just. Right then. Let her go. Say goodbye. Cheerio! Don’t forget
to toss out all her hat boxes before we leave. Dull as a dish rag.
'Oh,
I don’t know,' the Doctor said, watching Donna go off across the
tarmac, shaking her fist at a passing car, calling for her
grandfather, Wilf. 'I thought she had spirit. Showed a lot of courage
after what
happened with Lance and the Empress of the Racnoss.'