She
ran away from you. She ran as fast as she could after she saw what
you were really like. Murdering helpless children. Doctor. It really
was disgraceful. Even by your standards. Let’s show her again,
shall we?
'She already knows. And she came back. Of all things — she came back.'
An accident.
'I don’t think so.'
A mistake.
'Maybe.'
A happy bit of circumstance in any case — and not so happy, as it will turn out. You destroy them. Just like you destroy yourself. Were it not for me you would never have gotten this far.
The Doctor wrinkled his nose, smiling as he shut the Tardis door. He let go a pent breath, rubbing at his temples.
'This ends. Now.'
This will never end, Doctor.
A moment of silence, inside and out.
'I know.'
What are we doing now, Doctor? Preparing to dematerialize? Oh, good. Time and Space and everything in between! Have I finally given you the excuse you needed to leave Donna behind?
'I don’t intend to leave Donna,' the Doctor said, rapidly setting, resetting, then changing the settings as he worked his way around the control console, 'and you know it. She’s brilliant. Or will be.'
Maybe. If she doesn’t die in your arms, first. Oh, but that’s right. They never die in your arms.
'Some of them do.' the Doctor whispered.
Not the ones that mattered.
'You can stop anytime,' he pointed out, fingers a blur on the controls. Check, recheck, re-re-check.
I could. But why would I want to?
'Because, I’m going to stop listening.' He punched three random buttons and a piece of lavender hazelnut toast popped into the air.
To the voice inside your head?
'Just that,' he said, snatching the toast and taking a bite.
Then why do you keep answering me?
'Well, if you really must know,' he said between bites, 'you have to admit you’re more than a little distracting. But, I know what you’re doing and it isn’t going to work on me.'
And why not?
'Because you are me.'
At last, we understand each other.
'Awww, like I didn’t know what you were the moment I heard your voice. Oh, it’s been a while since you’ve been this noisy, but don’t think for a minute that I didn’t know you were still there. You know,' the Doctor said bitterly, 'there’s a reason I don’t like you.'
You.
'Me,' he said. 'But this isn‘t the time to talk about it. We‘re going to take a little trip.'
You haven’t set any coordinates. Are you trying to be clever, Doctor?
'That’s because I don’t have to leave here to take you where you need to go. And, oh, in case you‘ve forgotten — I am clever!'
Silence.
He had gotten the last word.
Not yet you haven’t.
The Cloister Room, Doctor? The Time Lord’s cathedral. You are getting old, aren’t you? Old and sentimental. Do you even remember, Doctor? What it was like being young? Do you? You try so hard not to. Shall I tell you the stories all over again? Perhaps start with a lonely boy on a very cold night, a very long time ago? A boy who didn’t know a real enemy when he saw one? You didn’t listen to me. You should have. I tried to tell you. Or will it be War stories? Shall I tell you those? I have so many.
'Knock yourself out. But wait. You don’t have to. It’s all here,' the Doctor said calmly, fingers resting on the neural interface relay switch. 'You want stories? I’ll tell you a whopper!'
The Tardis doesn’t remember anything that I don’t already remember. That you don’t already remember. Remember fleeing? Remember burning? Remember everyone you left behind?
'We don’t have to just remember.' He flicked the switch and stepped away.
At once, over every channel, came the roar of ships’ engines, the grating voices of Daleks, and the panicked voices of Time Lords. So many Time Lords. So many dead Time Lords.
What? Are we playing at ghost stories now? Are you trying to frighten me? With this? You’ll have to do better than this.
'More like this?' the Doctor asked, punching up the visuals. Images of the past engulfed him, the room transformed into a cosmos of terror.
Oh! I remember this! Did you ever feel more alive? Did you!
Laughter rang as they barreled into a sea of Dalek battle cruisers, the dark horizon a blur of War Tardises and a thousand other ships stretched across a thousand different Times.
Doctor! I’m surprised at you. Revisiting the glory days? On the front line again are we? For Rassilon and for Gallifrey? What do you hope to accomplish with this? What do you expect to see?
'What do you expect to see?'
Nothing I didn’t see before. War, Doctor! War! At last, we had our revenge.
'Oh, yes. And wasn’t it sweet,' the Doctor said softly.
Sweet? Sweet doesn’t begin to describe it. Look at them! Remember them! We watched them burn!
'We watched them burn. And a thousand worlds with them.'
War, Doctor. War. You answered the call to it. You didn’t bring it home.
'Didn’t I?' the Doctor asked, gazing at the images before him, steeling himself against the memories that flooded every fibre of his being.
The Daleks were the scourge of the galaxy. The scourge of ten galaxies! Of Time itself. Time was unraveling, Doctor! They had to be stopped. Nothing else mattered!
'And nothing has mattered since.'
Too true.
'Not the least of which are these pesky, human Companions, eh?'
What do they know? How can they even compare to what you once had, Doctor? What you left behind. Again and again. And for what? To roam like a cosmic hobo when you could have ruled them all? Traded away all that, for these people with their tiny, stupid brains and their tiny, stupid planet, all so worried about their everyday lives that they miss the big picture. They didn‘t even know that war raged in Heaven!
Panic grew to terror. The voices grew louder with the memory of their pain. Weaponry as cunning as any living thing obliterated planets that were at once restored to be destroyed again. Cataclysm after cataclysm burned into his eyes. He let it all in.
You were ruthless, Doctor. You were as ruthless as any of them
'I know.'
You still are.
'Oh, believe me. I know.' The Doctor flicked another control and the Tardis lurched into motion, careening into the Vortex.
What are you doing?
'Flying!'
What?
On she flew, screaming in terror. Faster. Faster. The noise was deafening now, the room choked with smoke and memories as they began to tumble through Time, the War enfolding them, closing around them. The Cloister Bell began to ring.
What are you doing?
'What? Can’t you tell? We’re going back in!'
WHAT?
'We’re going back in! You were right. You brought me through. You ran away and took me with you. Or I ran away and took you. Either way, we survived when so many others perished. Well, no more! We’re going to crash through the Time Lock and we’re Going. Back. In.'
What? No. That’s impossible!
'Nothing’s impossible. You said yourself, earlier, I could have reached Rose. I could have brought down the walls between Universes to get to Rose and I didn’t,' the Doctor said through gritted teeth. 'I never even told her...'
'She already knows. And she came back. Of all things — she came back.'
An accident.
'I don’t think so.'
A mistake.
'Maybe.'
A happy bit of circumstance in any case — and not so happy, as it will turn out. You destroy them. Just like you destroy yourself. Were it not for me you would never have gotten this far.
The Doctor wrinkled his nose, smiling as he shut the Tardis door. He let go a pent breath, rubbing at his temples.
'This ends. Now.'
This will never end, Doctor.
A moment of silence, inside and out.
'I know.'
What are we doing now, Doctor? Preparing to dematerialize? Oh, good. Time and Space and everything in between! Have I finally given you the excuse you needed to leave Donna behind?
'I don’t intend to leave Donna,' the Doctor said, rapidly setting, resetting, then changing the settings as he worked his way around the control console, 'and you know it. She’s brilliant. Or will be.'
Maybe. If she doesn’t die in your arms, first. Oh, but that’s right. They never die in your arms.
'Some of them do.' the Doctor whispered.
Not the ones that mattered.
'You can stop anytime,' he pointed out, fingers a blur on the controls. Check, recheck, re-re-check.
I could. But why would I want to?
'Because, I’m going to stop listening.' He punched three random buttons and a piece of lavender hazelnut toast popped into the air.
To the voice inside your head?
'Just that,' he said, snatching the toast and taking a bite.
Then why do you keep answering me?
'Well, if you really must know,' he said between bites, 'you have to admit you’re more than a little distracting. But, I know what you’re doing and it isn’t going to work on me.'
And why not?
'Because you are me.'
At last, we understand each other.
'Awww, like I didn’t know what you were the moment I heard your voice. Oh, it’s been a while since you’ve been this noisy, but don’t think for a minute that I didn’t know you were still there. You know,' the Doctor said bitterly, 'there’s a reason I don’t like you.'
You.
'Me,' he said. 'But this isn‘t the time to talk about it. We‘re going to take a little trip.'
You haven’t set any coordinates. Are you trying to be clever, Doctor?
'That’s because I don’t have to leave here to take you where you need to go. And, oh, in case you‘ve forgotten — I am clever!'
Silence.
He had gotten the last word.
Not yet you haven’t.
The Cloister Room, Doctor? The Time Lord’s cathedral. You are getting old, aren’t you? Old and sentimental. Do you even remember, Doctor? What it was like being young? Do you? You try so hard not to. Shall I tell you the stories all over again? Perhaps start with a lonely boy on a very cold night, a very long time ago? A boy who didn’t know a real enemy when he saw one? You didn’t listen to me. You should have. I tried to tell you. Or will it be War stories? Shall I tell you those? I have so many.
'Knock yourself out. But wait. You don’t have to. It’s all here,' the Doctor said calmly, fingers resting on the neural interface relay switch. 'You want stories? I’ll tell you a whopper!'
The Tardis doesn’t remember anything that I don’t already remember. That you don’t already remember. Remember fleeing? Remember burning? Remember everyone you left behind?
'We don’t have to just remember.' He flicked the switch and stepped away.
At once, over every channel, came the roar of ships’ engines, the grating voices of Daleks, and the panicked voices of Time Lords. So many Time Lords. So many dead Time Lords.
What? Are we playing at ghost stories now? Are you trying to frighten me? With this? You’ll have to do better than this.
'More like this?' the Doctor asked, punching up the visuals. Images of the past engulfed him, the room transformed into a cosmos of terror.
Oh! I remember this! Did you ever feel more alive? Did you!
Laughter rang as they barreled into a sea of Dalek battle cruisers, the dark horizon a blur of War Tardises and a thousand other ships stretched across a thousand different Times.
Doctor! I’m surprised at you. Revisiting the glory days? On the front line again are we? For Rassilon and for Gallifrey? What do you hope to accomplish with this? What do you expect to see?
'What do you expect to see?'
Nothing I didn’t see before. War, Doctor! War! At last, we had our revenge.
'Oh, yes. And wasn’t it sweet,' the Doctor said softly.
Sweet? Sweet doesn’t begin to describe it. Look at them! Remember them! We watched them burn!
'We watched them burn. And a thousand worlds with them.'
War, Doctor. War. You answered the call to it. You didn’t bring it home.
'Didn’t I?' the Doctor asked, gazing at the images before him, steeling himself against the memories that flooded every fibre of his being.
The Daleks were the scourge of the galaxy. The scourge of ten galaxies! Of Time itself. Time was unraveling, Doctor! They had to be stopped. Nothing else mattered!
'And nothing has mattered since.'
Too true.
'Not the least of which are these pesky, human Companions, eh?'
What do they know? How can they even compare to what you once had, Doctor? What you left behind. Again and again. And for what? To roam like a cosmic hobo when you could have ruled them all? Traded away all that, for these people with their tiny, stupid brains and their tiny, stupid planet, all so worried about their everyday lives that they miss the big picture. They didn‘t even know that war raged in Heaven!
Panic grew to terror. The voices grew louder with the memory of their pain. Weaponry as cunning as any living thing obliterated planets that were at once restored to be destroyed again. Cataclysm after cataclysm burned into his eyes. He let it all in.
You were ruthless, Doctor. You were as ruthless as any of them
'I know.'
You still are.
'Oh, believe me. I know.' The Doctor flicked another control and the Tardis lurched into motion, careening into the Vortex.
What are you doing?
'Flying!'
What?
On she flew, screaming in terror. Faster. Faster. The noise was deafening now, the room choked with smoke and memories as they began to tumble through Time, the War enfolding them, closing around them. The Cloister Bell began to ring.
What are you doing?
'What? Can’t you tell? We’re going back in!'
WHAT?
'We’re going back in! You were right. You brought me through. You ran away and took me with you. Or I ran away and took you. Either way, we survived when so many others perished. Well, no more! We’re going to crash through the Time Lock and we’re Going. Back. In.'
What? No. That’s impossible!
'Nothing’s impossible. You said yourself, earlier, I could have reached Rose. I could have brought down the walls between Universes to get to Rose and I didn’t,' the Doctor said through gritted teeth. 'I never even told her...'